I was wondering why people are not responding to my cover letters. I have sent a lot of emails applying for jobs, I mean summer jobs, but none of them replied. I guess this is a sign of total failure? Or it implies I have no ability and qualification for the job? It's disappointing. I realize how I am going through this period of sadness.
2nd of June is the graduation dinner. People will be discussing about their near or far future. What am I going to tell them? Oh well, I have tried looking for jobs, but yes, I couldn't find one finally? Or simply I did nothing?
Maybe the reality is the reality. It is always difficult to find the very first job. I was hoping to find an internship. But oh lord, no replies. Even McDonalds didn't reply either. What's happened? I am going crazy if this life goes on in this way. I hate life like this - if you know what I mean.
I prefer taking my life easier. Living in countryside is my choice. I can write children's book or write only for my portfolio while breathing in fresh air and looking at excellent seaview as well as greeneries.
I don't know what I should do this coming week. Am I lack of competence for the simplest job in this society? If so, how am I going to persuade myself that I am NOT the least competent person here? I wanna cry out loud. But I know this is NOT yet the end of the game yet.
Somehow I am envious of some people who finally got the job but without the stage of searching for jobs. I am confident of myself and my ability, why aren't there people recognizing it?
Perhaps I should go on writing my very first book. This is the way to prove my language ability, my thoughts, my unconcious feelings to the world objects - just to let the world to know I am still existing, and please hire me!
I have plans for the book. I have found some publishers. But I have to invest it for about HK$20,000. Right now I should start planning for the book. I am not going to start by writing a story - that's pretty difficult to think of an exciting plot. Well, a personal collection is an option. I will start writing pieces of personal thoughts. Yup, a really personal collection. If the Ming Man Publishing Ltd isn't going to publish it, okay, I will make it an online e-book, or I will join some self-publishing companies overseas and make further plans.
I should call Jackie to confirm whether we should go on searching for jobs. Or I have options here:
1. Go to Eleanor's place for work (full-time)
2. Go to Melly's place and teach English together (part-time)
3. Volunteer jobs
4. Consult other mature friends
Also, I am going to design a site, a professional one, and a more organized one, so that this blog can become part of my porfolio, keeping my daily thoughts and daily writings. I gotta go for revising French now. Later.
I have plans for the book. I have found some publishers. But I have to invest it for about HK$20,000. Right now I should start planning for the book. I am not going to start by writing a story - that's pretty difficult to think of an exciting plot. Well, a personal collection is an option. I will start writing pieces of personal thoughts. Yup, a really personal collection. If the Ming Man Publishing Ltd isn't going to publish it, okay, I will make it an online e-book, or I will join some self-publishing companies overseas and make further plans.
I should call Jackie to confirm whether we should go on searching for jobs. Or I have options here:
1. Go to Eleanor's place for work (full-time)
2. Go to Melly's place and teach English together (part-time)
3. Volunteer jobs
4. Consult other mature friends
Also, I am going to design a site, a professional one, and a more organized one, so that this blog can become part of my porfolio, keeping my daily thoughts and daily writings. I gotta go for revising French now. Later.
